Need Quite A Bit Of Advice Here

Congratulations and good luck! I'm sure it will work out, but I know less about babies than brain surgery

Now this is human advice and not baby advice. Don't let over thinking it detract from your joy.

Well, Steph, I can offer some advice for Peanut-

After the baby is born, but before you bring the baby home, have your husband bring home some of the clothes that the baby has already worn and have the dog sniff the clothes- often. This will get Peanut used to the scent of the new addition. That way, when you bring your bundle of joy home, the familiarity of the scent will help.

Still focusing on the dog, when you bring the baby home, sit with the little one on the couch, cradling it in your arms. This is best done when Peanut is not allowed into the room at the moment. However, make sure Peanut has had the opportunity to greet you and spend a few minutes alone with you. Then, put Peanut in another room, bring the baby in the living room where you're sitting on the couch, then let Peanut in. Allow him to approach you on the couch, maybe even hop up on the couch. He will want to sniff the baby in your arms; that's okay. Generally, one of two reactions will occur: 1. Peanut will sniff the baby then go about his business
2. Peanut will growl at the new addition. Chances are, if Peanut has been allowed sufficient opportunity to sniff the clothes before the baby is brought home, Peanut will be okay with it.

I spent so much time on Peanut because early on, Peanut will be a greater potential threat to the baby than the siblings.

Now, on to the siblings: Children's Hospital offers some excellent classes on preparing for a baby with siblings, and they are free. You bring your children with you, and you do activities together. That is one possibility.

If that is not a reasonable alternative, then you could go to Barnes and Noble, where they have some excellent books on the subject for both you and the kids.

Generally speaking, it is best to broach the subject with the 9-year-old first. Sell her on the reality, and she'll be too glad to be the big sister and guide her little brother through the preparations.

Tell her she is going to have a baby sister or brother and get a feel for her general reaction. She may be very excited or she may appear upset. If she is upset do NOT try to reassure her. Find out what her concerns are. They may have nothing to do with feeling less important or feeling less a part of the family. She may not want to share space or attention or think she'll be stuck babysitting. Let her know that you want her ideas on how things should be set up even if you and her stepdad make the final decisions. Ask for her ideas on baby names, for the nursery, baby clothes, etc.

If she wants to be involved, this new addition can be her baby as much as yours. If she is not a baby person, she can leave all the baby stuff up to you. Assure her that whatever her level of interest in the baby is, it is OK. Thank her for teaching you how to be a good mom and that she has helped you already, regardless of the role she CHOOSES to take. Let her know, that if she wants, an older sister can play an extremely important role in a little person's life.

It is probably best for the 9-year-old to see the baby with you in the hospital before you come home. Again, this will help reinforce that she is the big sister (which she is!) who will help you guide her little brother through the process. Besides, hospitals can simply be way too overstimulating for a 3-year-old. My bed-mate had his pre-school grandkids visit him when I was recovering from my pulmonary embolism at Touro over a year ago, and I swear the way I was feeling I wanted to throw a bedpan at him. But I digress. The 3-year-old can be introduced when you get home with the baby, possibly even by the 9-year-old. I would do this introduction before the dog. It would be best for the dog to be outside or isolated somewhere in the house until the 3-year-old is introduced.

Okay, if you want anymore ideas, PM me............LOL. This wore me out, and it's getting kinda late.

BTW, congrats, Steph! You'll be a great mom! The fact that you asked these questions shows your concerns and that shows what a conscientious mom you will be!!

Congrats Stephanie!! Looks like you got some awsome advice already. As a mother of 3 myself, and a first time grandma, beleive me, instincts will kick in.

I was worried about bringing the new grandaughter around my Rottweiler, and my Great Dane, but they have been wonderful around her. The baby lived here at our home for the first 6 mos of her life. We introdued them carefully and made sure that they sniffed her, gave her kisses, and most importantly, we NEVER leave them unsupervised. To this day the dogs are never let around the baby without supervision. Safety first! Even with my little pomeranians.

Jim had some excellant points on them sniffing the babies clothes, getting its scent, etc. And the you visiting with Peanut first, and then introducing the baby. Very good advice!

Your step kids learning about the new baby should be no problem. Of course expain to them that they are going to have a new sister/brother, and that they are the "Big sissy, big brother", and that the baby is going to need them too. That it is a big responsiblity being the big brother/sister, and as the baby grows older, it will look up to them, etc., etc, ect. Make sure they realize that you are going to need "Their" help with the baby, etc. This makes them feel important, and a part of all of this. Include them as much as possible!! That way they hopfully won't feel any jealousy and will enjoy their new sibling, and fall in love with your precious new family member.

Congrats again on your wonderful news!!